So, I had some major dental work done this morning. Long story, but it was the kind of dental work that required me to sign paperwork swearing I'd have a ride to and from the appointment because of the happy pills they'd prescribed me. My mom and my aunt (the senior citizen version of Thelma & Louise) dutifully drove a couple hours to my place so they could accompany me. They did the same thing for me a couple of months ago, so I figured I could trust them.
Now, last time I had this kind of work done, my car had just been broken into and I needed to get to the collision center the day of the dental appointment to sign paperwork authorizing the place to start the repairs. My mom and my aunt drove me there after the dental hell and when I was in a full drug haze. Afterward, I had no memory of signing any paperwork or talking to the guy at the shop about what needed to be fixed on my car. I had no memory of being driven from the car repair place in Downtown Indy back up to Carmel. I had no memory of laying down and falling asleep. I had no memory of my cousin, who lives nearby, stopping by my apartment with his son. Pretty much everything that happened that day was ... well, like it never happened.
This time, though, I had proof -- in writing -- that Thelma & Louise had been here. After driving me home and depositing me on my couch, they laid in wait for me to fall asleep. And then one of them (and I'm holding them BOTH responsible) took a Sharpie and wrote on my forehead: KO, GO BEARS! I discovered their handiwork a few hours after they had left. Thankfully, they either couldn't find my camera or didn't know how to work it because there is no photographic evidence.
So to everyone out there: If you see these two ladies, you may think they are harmless, angelic senior citizens. I am here to tell you they are a menace to society.
Now that they are safely back at home I am going to take another pain pill and lay down on the couch without fear.