Monday, January 5, 2009

The thumbs



When I was a kid, this was a common hand position for me, thumbs tucked beneath my fingers so nobody could see them. My mom used to tell me I had Irish thumbs. Or that I had my dad's thumbs. Neither thing made me feel any better. And really, my dad's thumbs were nowhere near as freaky as mine. My sister was once asked by a doctor if her thumbs "impaired her." (Sorry, Col.) I was never asked that question, but probably because that same doctor never noticed my thumbs.

My thumbs are like big toes on my hands.
My thumbs look like Vienna Sausages (The owner of the "impaired" thumbs once sent me a can of the sausages just to reinforce this belief. Jerk.)



It's time, finally, for my thumbs to be shown to the world, in all their glory. So here it is, a thumb untucked and in all its glory:



The only good thing about having these things attached to my hands is that I never had the option of hitchhiking. My thumbs are so short and stumpy nobody would ever see them.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

hah! that was funny, sad and so true. well, don't hold your breath waiting for a call from ebert and roeper.
poke - gobble gobble, burp.

thumbelina said...

I too bear the scars of being mocked in gradeschool for my "special" thumbs. I used to do the same thing--tuck those mutants away. I still find that hand position comfortable...and bowling very uncomfortable. I like to think they are a genetic sign of a superior intellect. That's why I was teased-pure envy!

joe said...

Oh my! I never noticed! Do you qualify for a special license plate? ;-) Very funny. Great picture story.

june cleaver said...

I dont know it you know this, but I have a freckle/mole in the inside bend of my arm that I used to cover with my opposite hand when I would raise my hand in class. I was so embarrassed by this freaky freckle/mole. To this day it makes me shudder.

By the way... I remember your thumbs, and they have given me nightmares, but if I do recall, Colleens were more impaired than yours.

Sorry Col...

If it makes you feel any better, I was watching Transformers the other day and noticed that Megan Fox has thumbs just like yours-honest to God I thought "Look! Her thumbs look just like an O' thumb!"

Crazy.

thumbelina said...

Could you make another post and bump these further down the page. I may have to wait a few weeks before checking in with you due to extreme emotional distress.

Your niece will be 18 tomorrow. As she says, old enough to go to "big girls' jail".
At least she is thinking about the future, not living in the here and now like most teens today dagnabit!
(And that makes us OLD)
If I have done one thing right, I have the knowledge that I will send her out into the world without these thumbs!!

Kathleen's world said...

Ah, Thumbelina. You may not have given her "the thumbs," but she did end up with those freakish hammer big toes!